#2

Pain.

You know what, I'm actually grateful for pain. Call me a masochist, yeah - okay, probably. Hahaha. No worries, though. I haven't and will never resort to actually inflicting physical pain upon myself. ...right, that too. I have my doubts by the looks of the bruises and scars on me. Oh, the accidental, ungraceful encounters with furnitures. They're my arch enemy, I tell you. Always in the way! >.<

So, yeah, pain eh? Have you ever felt like you're choking on air? It's indescribable, really. All of the sudden, literally, it gets harder to breathe. You're just drowning, struggling, reaching out for something. I drowned before. It was, uh, agonizing. You keep hoping for someone, for anyone to find you. You're trying but there's just no more air, no more energy. Not able to scream yet so loudly it was in your head, so loudly you screamed for help, in silent. Then, the stab. It creeps up on you. Slowly. First, a little poke. Then, it keeps coming and coming. You never knew you could feel it but you did, and in so many ways you could have never imagined. When in pain, you realize there are parts of you that you never noticed but have been there all along, only capable of surfacing at times of hurt. When in pain, the most raw emotions, the most basic thoughts and the core of your existence reveal itself. It's a scary and lonely place to be.

Then, why am I grateful for it? My dear, dear skeptics. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have been, well, me :) Just trust me ;)

Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it's a big part, and sometimes it isn't, but either way, it's a part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you're alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.” 

― Jim Butcher

We're lucky, aren't we? See, when Acheh was hit by the Tsunami a few years back, it was devastating. Everything there was to read showed the destruction, the hopelessness and the despair. I was reading one particular article; interviews of those who went to volunteer (such amazing people, by the way). Memory fails me, now, but I roughly remember one of them saying what was their experience like.

He said that he saw so much suffering, so much loss and so many people hurt. But in a way, it was good. Because pain is good. It means that you're still alive. And that is a blessing in itself.

Right, I might have rephrased it and he might have not even said the same thing but that's how I remember it and that's how I'll always justify. All these difficulties we're facing: you can take it both ways - the easy or the hard way. The easy way? Look around. You're not the only one who has it bad, I always remind myself. You're not the only one. In fact, there are people out there who do not even get to eat good food, who do not even have the chance to educate themselves. There are so many more out there. And alright, look at the Prophet. Peace be upon him, he suffered even more than any man. All for the sake of Islam. He, whom Allah s.w.t. treasures so much could handle worse cases than IB or first world pains. Why can't we? Pain does another thing: it teaches you humility.

And this, I will always remember because my grandmother reminded me. Funny, eh? I had a friend who told me that she had listened to this particular ayat so many times from the al-Qur'an. She knows it by heart but one fine day, she finally understood it. It finally meant something to her. And this following hadith became that meaningful to me, a few days ago while I was sitting by my grandmother's bedside, aiding her and keeping her company. She said to me, "Nadiah, rasa sakit sangat. Tapi sakit ni, nak buang dosa. Allah dah kata dah, sakit ni untuk hilangkan dosa." Immediately, I knew what revelation meant. I knew what this meant, to me.

'Ata' ibn Yasar related from Abu Sa'id al-Khudri and Abu Hurayra that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "No fatigue, illness, anxiety, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts any Muslim, even to the extent of a thorn pricking him, without Allah expiating his sins by it." (Related by Imam Bukhari)

Amazing, isn't it? Even in pain, Allah loves us <3

I'd have a lot to say about pain, really. But, well, then again I might be really officially be called a masochist. Hahaha. For that, I rest my case :)

Remember, pain makes you stronger, better and purer - only if you learn from it. Insya-Allah, together we strive to overcome it! For, verily after every difficulty, there is R E L I E F! :D

So, then, assalamualaikum, may the Peace be with youuu! Have a nice day, a good day, a good life. Whoever you are, I love you for the sake of Islam and, if not, humanity <3